Eighth month ..... the arrival of our bundle of joy

Eighth month :” The D day “ …. Arrival of the bundle of Joy : An experience of miracle :

As august began anxiety also started , nights were fully sleepless…. Either due to heart burn or I would just be thinking how would the experience of delivery be ? Who all will be around me ???? Who will give me the babies ???? Even the mere thought will leave me choked with emotion and tears in my eyes .

As always my cousin Vaidehi, my good friend who Jerine took over as my elder sister , kept giving me the courage and kept me cheerful. We were also gearing up for the arrival of babies started washing baby clothes that we bought . My in laws also bought clothes for the babies and my mother was busy washing them . She was also becoming anxious on how the delivery would go . We had spoken to my Chithi’s that we will require their help post delivery which they eagerly looked forward to .

All was smooth and I did meet diabetologist Dr Bhaskar couple of times in the first week of August to maintain my sugar levels and each time Dr Manu would tell me just less than a month more , stay calm and 1st week of September she would plan my delivery.

The “ D” day : Emergency C section:

12th August 2017 ,  we never thought this day would be the most memorable day in our life . It was a Saturday, Hari ‘s usual routine is to go to play shuttle , he leaves at 6.30 am . The previous night was as usual sleepless owing to heart burn , so I woke up by 6 am . Hari ‘s first comment on seeing me was “ you look fresh “ I smiled and went ahead to brush and have my thyroid medication. I wanted to have milk so I decided I will use the restroom and then have milk and rest for a while. But God had other plans!!!!!

I felt an odd feeling while I was passing urine , I didn’t expect anything so I got up to flush when I noticed pool of blood in the closet , I was shocked. I moved away and realised I was bleeding and my bathroom tiles were soon full of blood . I didn’t know how to react I walked out to my mother woke her up and said Iam having bleeding she was shocked she got up with a jerk and proceeded to brush . Hari came out from the rest room and was shocked.

I called up Mohanapriya, she picked up the call in one ring and told me to check BP and proceed to hospital immediately. She told me she will inform Dr and others in the hospital. I was completely shaken but totally blank , I just told amma to take a set of dress , and Hari to take my reports. They both were shell shocked . I don’t know from where I got the courage I just got up and walked out of the house in my nighty with a water bottle and took the lift and waited near the car ! I could feel myself bleeding. Hari and amma came quickly and we left from our house . Hospital is about 28 km…. today that number looks scary ….

Hari had to be composed and he very efficiently drove the distance trying to talk to me and keep me calm .But I seriously couldn’t speak nor could think of anything else , my mother asked me if I had a pain but I didn’t have a pain . My little ones kept moving inside I could feel them moving and clinging on to me I just hoped placenta would support them till we reached hospital. I was too blank to pray or cry .

Within 25 minutes we reached the hospital, I didn’t wait for Hari to park I just got down from car with my water bottle walked inside the hospital all by myself!!! I seriously don’t know how I got the guts to do it !!!!! My mother followed me with my report file   , Hari was parking the car .

As I walked I was bleeding profusely, hospital reception was full of blood a male nurse from ICU immediately noticed me and asked my name and asked me to proceed to labor Ward in the ground floor . I threw my water bottle on one side and climbed up the bed and lied down ….. I felt tears gushing out of my eyes at this point I prayed sincerely to God and my spiritual gurus to give my babies strength to face this difficult situation.

Chief nurses rushed in tried cleaning my bleeding and immediately took my old reports. One nurse was instructing the other , and suddenly that small room was filled with 4 nurses , one helping assistant to clean , and a lab technician to withdraw my blood sample . All this was happening around 6.45 am . Senior nurse first checked the foetal heart rate for both the babies. They could identify two distinct heart beats and they were normal. I could see how swiftly the team of nurses were acting on me and constantly following the instructions given by Dr Manu over phone . My BP and sugars were monitored , IV lines were administered and I was given injections.

The nurses were very worried and I could feel their anxiety, they immediately informed Dr that bleeding was beyond control and told me Dr will be in within 5 minutes and I might mostly have to undergo C Section immediately. I felt the whole world collapsing in front of me , I started crying and told the nurses to do something as it is too early and my babies will have to struggle in NICU . They decided to wait till Dr comes and convince me and started getting ready for the surgery . My bleeding and clotting time was tested , HB and sugars were tested and BP was continuously monitored.

Dr Manu entered the room she smiled at me told me bleeding was too heavy to be stopped she looked she my previous scan and told me the babies will definitely be close to 2 kg and with proper care at NICU they will do well and 33 weeks of gestation is a good period for twin pregnancy and it would be a grave mistake if we wait at this point. As I heard Dr Manu speak to me in such a calm and composed manner I became instantly calm , Infact I became totally blank , it was Gods way of keeping me calm even before anaesthesia.

Dr Manu met Hari and my parents and explained the situation and said C Section is the best option and her team will be in , in 5 minutes and every thing will be taken care off . When you physically bear the pain you are better off , I think the most anxious 20 minutes for Hari and my parents were these moments. They were choked with anxiety and emotion. They had no choice but to trust and wait as always Hari had complete confidence in Dr Manu .

I couldn’t meet anyone I was quickly prepared for surgery, catheter was fixed , I was shifted and wheeled into the theatre . It was quiet I continued to be blank with only tears flowing down . Dr Manu and her entire team were very very supportive, I was quickly given spinal anaesthesia . I felt a sharp tickle down my legs and then I was made to lye down . I could hear all their conversations but I don’t remember anything I chose to close my eyes one nurse was holding my hands and continuously giving me courage.

Within minutes I heard Dr Manu saying it’s a girl , I did hear the crying sound of babies , within seconds Dr Meenakshi the Pediatrician, Chief nurse brought the babies close to me and asked me to identify the gender by seeing the genitals and they brought them closer to me to kiss them ….. we were blessed with a boy at 7. 54 am and a girl at 7.55 am . I don’t remember how they looked then but pediatrician and Dr Manu told me babies are fine , they cried well , and the boy was close to 1. 8 kg and girl was around 1.9 kg . Dr told me they will be shifted to NICU at Isabel Hospital immediately and all well we can expect them back in 48 hours .

I seriously didn’t know how to react ! The moment that we longed for so many years had come but I couldn’t experience the true happiness! I read a blog that post delivery you can’t count how many times you become emotional or cry ! It is absolutely true ! Motherhood makes you strong physically and very weak emotionally. Dr Manu told me that she was so happy that this bleeding issue happened in 33rd week and babies were safe , we couldn’t have asked for anything better ! She asked me to be happy and August 12 th 2017 is the birthday of your babies!!!!!!

At this point I think Hari will have more emotional moments to share , he told me he , and my parents were waiting in the hall when Hari first heard the cry of both the babies, he told amma but she was too shocked to respond! Dr called him and showed the babies and asked him to identify the gender , he requested the Dr and my parents also saw the babies. Hari told me how emotional all the three were and how much they missed seeing me and the babies together. Hari immediately accompanied the babies in the ambulance to NICU when his sister and brother in law joined him to provide him the necessary support. They were also overjoyed to see the babies.

I was shifted to ICU to be monitored for heavy bleeding , constantly I was on injections and was dozing off . Every time a nurse came to meet me I would ask them how my babies are ! They would smile and ask me to rest so that I can take care of babies soon . I wanted to meet my IVF team the nurses told me to wait till 10 am . I think I met Sangeetha first she gave me lot of courage and confidence and assured me that babies will be fine and Mohanapriya will be in by afternoon. My parents, my mother in law and sister in law did meet me at ICU and reassured that the babies are fine .

Finally Mohanapriya came in and told me she specifically met Dr Meenakshi, Pediatrician and she said the babies are doing fine and will be back by the next day afternoon itself. I was relieved, Hari also came in by then and told me babies are really cute and responding well .

I was shifted to room by late night and was monitored continuously. My amma stayed with me , this night was really filled with emptiness!!!! Till the previous day I could feel the little ones inside, now they weren’t there , neither were they besides me , truly my heart really goes out to the parents of so many premature babies . It is a pain to see our babies in NICU . In my case Hari had to handle it all by himself, I couldn’t support him in any way ….

The next day by noon our babies were back …. I held them for the first time after a long wait and it was indeed a cherishing moment of course filled with emotions.

Many of my good friends had warned me about post partum depression I was confident I wouldn’t be party to it before my delivery! But owing to the emergency and health having a major set back I automatically felt lonely, helpless , exhausted…… was always choked with emotions and with terrible head ache . Mohanapriya understood my situation well , and told me to be patient and that things will settle down soon .
At the hospital our support system was my mother in law and sister in law who took care of our food and also taking care of the babies. Post discharge first few days my mother and my mother in law helped me out followed by other family members and today Iam much better and of course Hari is my biggest strength and slowly we are getting used to parent hood and the joy of the same !!!!!

It is hard to believe that my IVF journey has come to an end , I ve earned a lot of love and affection throughout this treatment. For Guna Fertility we were just another couple undergoing the treatment. But the way they handled us especially at the hour of emergency a , Dr Karthik, Dr Manu , Dr Rekha and their entire team of nurses …. There was so much love and empathy in them …. It is now my second home I definitely cannot thank them enough  for this rebirth as a mother of twins …. For Hari and me this place will always remain special and We feel a long term bonding with every staff member of this hospital.

I also feel overwhelmed by the love and care I am receiving from my family and friends, my immediate family became extremely emotional when they knew I had a pre term delivery and had to be in ICU …. Though they weren’t present physically they were the moral system of support to my parents especially my mother. My cousins, my good friends were all expressing their love and care in all possible manner .

We are thankful to our family , on either side for their support. What touched us most is the love our children are getting as soon as they have arrived from our dearest friends , immediate relatives, and cousins , thank you all for helping us realise our dream …. Our children are blessed

One last word ….. Hari and me decided to go through this journey, it was with absolute faith in God  that we  entered into this treatment. I strongly believe that prayers and faith in God will guide you push you into safe hands and give you what you desire. Right through my pregnancy I heard good meaningful spiritual discourses, Carnatic Music , and chanted few slokas I knew . It gave me patience and endurance and I feel if we want to experience miracle only way is to trust God , and leave everything to Him …..He beautifully designs your life and gives you only the Best !

Iam signing off this will be the last post in this blog …. Let me concentrate on my parenting and get back sometime later ….. I sincerely hope this blog will be helpful to you ….. and for anyone who are trying for a baby like us , trust your self , trust God and most importantly find a good Dr and hospital definitely good things will follow …… do keep our family in your prayers…..

Padmini , Hari and our bundle of joy …..